I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Operation Purity has been aborted
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
