The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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