i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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