Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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