I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
