Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
