If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Randomize
