2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
