since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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