if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
