I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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