just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
this just has baby written all over it
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
