Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Text me some of your sweat
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
