There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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