i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
