My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
