at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
is it fun? or sober?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
