spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
