I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
