you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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