Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
When did angry sex become our thing?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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