there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
