im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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