I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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