used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Randomize
