You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
how drunk are you?
Several
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
