haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
