why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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