there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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