like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
