So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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