Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
