Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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