he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
