I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Randomize
