She announced her abortion via fbk
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
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