He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
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