you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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