I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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