Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
