you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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