we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
