last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
