i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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