If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
