so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Is it penis luge time yet?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
