i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
