He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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