yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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