Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
