Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
